Time to Nut Up or Shut Up

As my good friend Tallahassee once said, 'Its time to nut up or shut up'. This concerns a couple things.
1) Haven't written a post in .... forever.
and 2) I've been telling (lying to) myself for some time now that I should trim down and take control of my body/health/fat ass.
They say that to achieve a goal you need to have a goal. And that you're then supposed to share that goal so that you stay accountable. Well I've been tip toeing around this idea, and I've laid some ground work. I started writing down the workouts I do each day, and how many alcoholic beverages I consume each day as well. So I've been collecting data, but I haven't actually set a goal or done anything about it. What can I say? I'm weak. I know I drink a lot, but golly gee I like that. Its fun (!). But that doesn't change the fact that my ass is growing disproportionately to my biceps. I don't live in a gym, so its goal setting time.
My office was the ultimate catalyst for this as they have issued a 'Biggest Loser' style challenge. So me and all my doughy coworkers can throw some money in a pool and see who comes out on top (or bottom depending on how you look at it). So someone other than me and my way too supportive wife (you're handsome honey) will be aware of this dealio. First weigh in was this Wednesday, and I tipped the digital scale at a hair under 2 bills; 199.5lbs. At 5'7", that puts my BMI at 31.2, which is technically obese. Not overweight mind you, but obese. I have to drop to 191 just to be overweight. Yup.

Like I said, I've been tracking myself for a bit, almost 3 months now, and I'm on the right track. Just the other day I was at the gym and a guy resembling an extra on Spartacus, with his entire midsection exposed from his unnecessarily large opening sleeveless shirt, asked me for a spot. I was like 'yeah, he sees I'm not a complete nimwhit'. It was a nice boost. Never mind that his only other choices were some small Indian kid in loafers, or the guy with the fanny pack that seems to be more impressed with the sound of crashing weights rather than how much he's actually lifting. Its SNAP fitness, okay? Not exactly where Schwarzenegger got his start.
Any who, lets circle back. Goal setting. I'm a stocky guy, and we all know that the BMI system doesn't take into account a lot of factors, but no matter how you cut it I ain't in great shape. My initial goal for now is to lose a pound a week. The challenge at my office lasts for 10 weeks, so that'll put me at 189.5 and about 5% weight loss. Is that enough to win? We have to check in at week five, so we'll re-evaluate then. Did I mention there's a cash prize to the winning individual and team? Almost 500 bones each. Yeah, that's quite the incentive. And also to be healthier, look good for Summer, look good for a mirror, cut grocery bills, get drunk on less, keep my smoking hot wife interested in me sexually, and to fit into those pants I've had in storage for too long. And fit into my bucket seat in my race car. Yeah, all those things, and a list a whole lot longer too.

So I wanna cut at least 10lbs. But how? I plan to work out at least 5 days a week, for at least 30 minutes each time. Also watch what I eat (portion control, some pizza, no ice cream for breakfast), and keep the drinking down. I'm still me, so I'm not gonna cut drinking out completely, but I've somewhat successfully been able to cut out pretty much all drinking during the weekdays these past few months. So that's a start. And I still like to drink to excess, so I've been limiting that to one weekend night, instead of 2 or 3. So that's neat too. Now I need to try and limit those big nights to only a 12 pack. Yeah, I'm a thirsty guy.

I actually got a personal trainer for a few months last year, so I've taken some advice form him. And otherwise I'm gonna stick to the basic 'Less input, more output' approach, ie eat what I need, and workout more. When I had that trainer he had me write up some goals. One of them was to put up some pictures (which I never did) of one of my wife's favorite bodies; Thor. Chris Hemsworth may play the part, but when you ask her who she likes she doesn't say 'Chris', she says 'mother freakin' Thor'.

So this is Thor.

And here's me.

 Twins, right? Yeah, you're right; he would look better in TMNT shorts.
Okay, so we got that out of the way. For now on I think I'm gonna pick my celebrity pics beforehand, and then try and replicate their pose and clothing so you guys can figure out who is who ;)
So she likes Thor, but I'm going for something more like this.

Sooooooooo, I'm basically there. Okay, I have a ways to go. But after 10 weeks hopefully we 'll be able to at least see a difference, right? Well I'll have you be the judge. Here's one more just for fun. Check your own self in the mirror. You likey? Or you no likey? Don't be like me and wait for some one to offer you money to lose weight or get healthier. I can't believe all the crap people have to pay for because they were unhealthy before, or possibly even still are. Lets nip this one in the bud.

PS Deadpool was awesome. 7/7 Foxtails easy. Couldn't stop laughing.

Well, Geez

Well, geez, that Summer really flew by. Its not that I haven't had time to write, but by the time I had time, I didn't want to. I'm lazy sometimes; it happens. But this Summer was seriously packed, and that's a good thing. I love life. I saw some awesome movies, ran through the mountains of Colorado, VIP'd at a music festival, swam with sea turtles in Mexico, and even got hitched. So yeah, I did some stuff. I'm still feeling a bit lazy and overwhelmed, but I figured I might as well get something out of the gate. So here's some pictures of me with people, chronologically backward, from now to the beginning of Summer. Can you guess which ones are strangers? Go!

Love ya babe ;)

To The West!

Friday once again. Ahhhhhh, isn't it grand? Almost as good as last Friday when I was figuring out the last few details on Western Movie Day. 'What is Western Movie Day?' one may ask themselves, and it is exactly what you want it to be. Or at least what I want it to be (insert menacing devilish laugh). I hadn't been around in awhile to have our regular weekly Sunday evening movie, so I was making up for it by having a movie marathon on a Saturday. And what's more fun than watching movies all day? Having a theme of course, and a goddamn Western theme at that. Whoot! A list of movies was debated via email, and with the help of the internet, we had a list primed to go via Amazon instant video. Of course I couldn't have this just be a bunch of spaghetti westerns, or some classic Duke films; no sir. I had to put some western movies on the list that you hadn't heard of, or never wanted to. Movies like Sukiyaki Western Django, Cowboys and Aliens, and Slow West.
But before I get all crazy about the movies, lets not lose focus. This is a day after all, and that means you'll need some sustenance. Might as well keep the theme rollin', so we have jalapeno cheese cornbread, bbq bacon baked beans, western style burgers (which I'm pretty sure have nothing to do with the actual West), and of course beer and lots and lots of whiskey.

Although Hardees was my inspiration for the Western Burger, we classed it up slightly with some avocado. I want to take this time for a personal shout out to my lady and brother who made the western burger and food situation happen as I was busy with some Bulleit in the basement watching movies. And so, the movies.

I started a bit later than I wanted (just after 3pm), but my good pal Quinn made sure I didn't watch a single movie alone and so I chose Sukiyaki Western Django as his gift. This movie is East meets West quite literally; it claims to be set in Nevada but all the signs and scenery is Japanese. The actors are all Eastern, but they speak English. Its really quite a mix, and of course this classic East meets West can only be brought about by one man; Quentin Tarantino. The only white dude in the film, and a crazy bastard at that. This movie is about as ridiculous as it gets, and therefore right in sync with Tarantino, although neither directed nor produced by him. Every character in this film is damaged; seemingly everyone has a sad back story. Either their father was murdered in front of them, or their mother, or both. 2 different clans have an unending blood feud to boot, and there's a few half breeds thrown in the mix hell bent on vengeance against pretty much everyone. The sheriff's mind is cracked from trying to keep both clans happy, easily identified as the white and the red clans. The sheriff does this just to save his own skin, being the weasel he is, and therefore also nailing one character of the western genre perfectly; the sheriff overrun by a gang and playing the puppet in his own town. Despicable. Everything comes down to one final bloody showdown, and it is bloody. The 2 clans at their wits end, a stranger essentially back from the dead, an assassin come out of retirement, and... a Gatling gun?! Fuck yeah. You really have to see it to believe it, and I give Sukiyaki 5/7 Fox Tails for its over the top storytelling, damaged and struggling characters, and because kitanas, blood, and a goddamn Gatling gun.

My father arrived for the final showdown of Sukiyaki, and then suggested we change it up and go to a classic western for movie number 2. I obliged with The Magnificent Seven. This movie was packed with all the big shot action guys of the day. My father couldn't stop remarking how cool Yul Brynner was, and how awesome and big Charles Bronson was. Steve McQueen, and James Coburn, and a handful of other greats. And this movie is classic; a bunch of rough and tough smooth talking dudes, all with quick hands and fighting for justice. Justice. The story is apparently taken from The Seven Samurai, and has been made over and over a handful of times. Small town overrun by gangster/bastard; they reach out for help with the little pittance that they have. Enter 7 heroes, led by at least a few all stars, and you got yourself a movie that makes you grin from ear to ear. Its as badass as it sounds, and I almost passed out when I saw the line up for the remake coming in 2017: Chris Pratt, Denzel Washington, Ethan Hawke. As long as they make it as cheesy and wholesome awesomeness as the original, then I think they'll do just fine. Probably even super fine. For 1960, I give the Seven 6/7 Fox Tails for just the reason I said above; wholesome awesomeness ie a righteous good guy outnumbered by bad guys standing up for whats right kinda awesomeness. Fuck bad people.

A slight break for some food, another shot of whiskey, and a few more people showed up for what they didn't even know was the main attraction; Slow West. This is the Western you haven't heard of because its so new. An indie film that came out this year starring the amazing Michael Fassbender and up and comer Kodi Smit-McPhee.

This was actually the movie that made me decide I wanted to do a Western theme when I saw the trailer a few short weeks ago, and then it turns out that the film went direct to on demand before hitting theaters. Fuck. Yes. So if you're cool like me and watch trailers every other moment that you're not wrenching on cars or downing whiskey, then you know movies like this exist; and then you share them with the world. This movie is the western movie that anti-defines the western movies. The heroes are more anti-hero than hero, everyone is on a hunt for survival, and to be idealistic is to be dead. Our young traveler from Scotland is always caught in situations that he is not prepared for (happens often on the frontier), and if any pointers can be taken from his bounty hunter possibly outlaw guide, Fassbender, its that you shouldn't give a shit about anyone, and always be ready to kill them because that's exactly how they're thinking of you. The movie is riddled with flash backs to the old country to help flesh out our young character, and then we come back to this boy that is just not a man (though he tries). If you wanna be as cool as me, and trust me, you do, then gather a few friends or your mom from the other room and rent Slow West on demand. I give Slow West 6/7 Fox Tails for its ruthless view of the west, good pace, unique characters, and its shots of humor to lighten the otherwise depressing story. You won't come away from this movie with a warm fuzzy, and I believe that's exactly what's intended. 

And now what I thought was to be the second last movie, but turned out to be the last movie. Oh well. If you're gonna go out on western movie day, then you better have Tombstone.

This movie is 7/7 Fox Tails. Easy. Done. I love this movie. LOVE IT. Pretty much anything Doc Holliday says, played by Val Kilmer, is cinematic gold. 'I got 2 guns, one for each of ya'. Pants explosion. 'You're a daisy if you do' ie pushing up daisies ie dead. I just got that! Fuckin great. Rounding it out with Kurt Russell, the fucking awesome Sam Elliot, Bill Paxton, and even some Billy Zane in there. Of course we can't forget the mad man Johnny Ringo played by Michael Biehn, and the Cowboy ringleader played by Powers Boothe. I want to watch this movie again already! The story is classic awesomeness, the acting is great, characters are sweet, bad guys are bad, and good guys are pretty bad too. Just go watch it, cuz I ain't gonna talk about it anymore. 

So a liter of whiskey and many pitchers of beer later, Western Day was a success. I think we'll rest up for a week or two, and then maybe another themed night later this summer. Bond? Aliens? I never did get around to Cowboys and Aliens... Take 'er easy.

Monsters

It proved to be quite fitting that upon the night I was to see Avengers: Age of Ultron, that my viewing would be postponed to discuss a book. A book! You know what a book is, right? They're usually rectangular, and have a bunch of letters formed into words, and then printed onto tangible paper stuff; its those things you never pick up anymore and instead use as coasters for your Red Bull or to level your HDTV on the shelf. My mistake, you don't use coasters.

I was the host for the family book club, and I told my brother to make sure he got there on time cuz I had other stuff to do; namely go see Avengers on opening night. 'That shit? What a fucking waste.' Apparently my brother doesn't like fun. Any who, I was a bit taken aback by this; I mean, Avengers. Hellooooooooo?!? Sweet Marvel characters, Joss Whedon at the helm once again; it was a not so proven formula that destroyed the box office a few years ago and was looking for another piece. I was pretty excited to say the least, but I didn't let his comment rob me of the enjoyment I was about to procure from blazing images and flashy pretty colors, or the hope I may actually go deaf from one of the explosions. I mean, when you're a baller like me then you gots to go big, and IMAX 3D was the only way to go. If anything it encouraged me to finish our book, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, and bring some good conversation to the table for my first activity of the night before Ultron's reveal. I hadn't read Frank before, and I was pretty surprised to find out that any Hollywood rendition I have seen is nothing like the book. It was good. Really good. Beautiful language , if not sometimes just a bit over the top; prose that just pulled you in, and a story about devastation and misery for all characters. We bounced around discussing a few topics, but a common theme throughout is whether the creature (or demon) was a monster, or if his creator, Victor Frankenstein, was the monster. Or are they both monsters? Was the creature a monster because Victor was? Was it nature? And also the link between created and creator. Truly a fun book (nice and short too) that anyone can read, yet you can really have a deep conversation about it if you so desire. I said earlier that this was quite fitting because the main premise of Avengers 2 is that creation turns on creator; a theme not necessarily unique to Frankenstein or Avengers, but it was fun sitting in the theater and watching the same ideas that man has been struggling with since 1818, and centuries before it, is now being played out again in the newest media form. Pretty cool. The heroes blatantly use the word 'monster' several times, either in reference to themselves or Ultron, and this is the same struggle that brought Marvel to the forefront with the first Iron Man movie. Are the weapons and technology Tony Stark developed the monsters? Is it the people that use it? Or is it Tony himself? And can you create something else to prove yourself? Tony thought he could; he tried to prove he was not a monster by creating again: the Iron Man suit. A suit for defense. A suit for good.

Captain America was created. Black Widow. The Hulk. The Twins. It is apparently in human nature to repeat our mistakes over and over again, and to proliferate these ideas into stories of horror, into stories of fantasy. We drew pictures inside caves, brought masked men into theaters, printed words with pen and paper, and now digital 3 dimensional explosions and deafening sound is our medium. Oooooooooooooooh, yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I don't even want to tell you about Avengers anymore; its a story you already know anyway. I will tell you this though; its sweet. Really f'in sweet.
 It opens up with the Avengers fully assembled and battling through masses of Hydra soldiers. Compared to the first film they are a now a developed team, which is articulated through the many hero combo attacks riddled throughout and the seamless execution of such attacks. Captain flips his shield to Black Widow, Thor tossed people into Hawkeyes path for assassination; its really too cool, like a video game come to life. But its also clear that they have not been challenged for quite some time; they get careless with their own defense and rely on their personal superior strength and skill in many cases. There I go again; you got me all riled up and I just want to talk more and more now! I'll leave you with a few key things that stood out for me and made this movie as great as it really is, and not just another CGI heavy movie with cool fight scenes.

1) Quicksilver: This character is played by Aaron Taylor-Johnson; I know him as Kick Ass, and he was also in the latest Godzilla. By the way, he got big; this ain't no scrawny high school kid that he played in Kick Ass anymore. So the character is cool, but I really like this actor; he doesn't talk much as Quicksilver and the character comes to life with his little mannerisms and smirks.

2) Ultron: Really I should say James Spader, as he's the one who voices Ultron and breathes him to life. This makes me want to watch the Blacklist now, as this guy delivers lines perfectly. Ultron is a program created by Tony Stark and this character has some of his language, class, wit, knowledge, and,of course, sarcasm; all perfectly done by Spader. Tony Stark is no simple character, and Robert Downey Junior IS that character. Spader is able to use that, and also twist it into his own ruthless and immoral villain of destruction. So sweet.

3) Hawkeye: I watched Birdman a month or so ago, and they made reference that all these great actors were getting put into capes; essentially they were all playing heroes and wasting their talent. Jeremy Renner was one of the names mentioned, and I thought they more or less hit it on the mark with him. Hawkeye was a small character in these past few films and Renner definitely could have focused elsewhere. He was all on board though and they pay him back by really fleshing Hawkeye out in this film. He's a larger role, you get to learn more about him, and you also see how he's the real soldier of the group; he is just a human and cannot rely on super strength to get him through many situations. His expertise in combat, tactics, and view of the battle field are his strengths.

The story and direction are really done quite well in this film, and they don't mind poking fun at the fact that they're running around in costumes and fighting aliens or robots or genocidal computer programs. They embrace it, and they are better for it. This movie made me want to re-watch all the Marvel movies over again (and I just may, I own most of them!) and really just got me amped and excited about the story. This movie ascends the scale and gets a well deserved 7/7 Fox Tails; it really is one destined for the big screen and something you absolutely should not miss. 3D IMAX may be unnecessary (may be), but the combination of action, humor, characters, story, drama; its all there. The story is really that good, and at just over 2 hours and with a character that messes with your mind parts, there's a good amount of character growth sprinkled in to make you care about the characters and not just when the next triple back-flip, motorcycle launching, lightning striking, missile blasting, combo punch is gonna take place. And yes all those things happen too.

And to put it not quite as eloquently as Ms Shelley, 'This isn't about beating Ultron, it's about proving we're not monsters.' Thanks Cap'n.

Ablaze Balls

Envelope meet push. I know, I know; its been a few weeks and you haven't been able to get you Fox blog fix. Pucker up and prep for a double dose cuz you are getting an exclusive movie review. If you follow this blog at all, know me at all, love me at all, then you already know what it is. Yes ladies and gents, I went to Furious 7 last night, and the envelope as they say has been pushed. Pushed out of reach, pushed beyond beyond, a la this film cannot be touched. It was Ablaze Balls. I tried to text my buddy after cuz I was still so amped up, and my phone decided on 'ablaze' instead of 'amaze'; I caught it before sending but figured it worked anyway.
Ablaze balls: uh-bleyz bawlz : when one's balls or respective genitalia is glowing as to be on the verge of bursting into flame because of extreme excitement and/or surge of adrenalin because awesomness.

Furious 7 was indeed Ablaze Balls.

To say this movie is action packed is a gross understatement. You can literally not pack any more adrenalin fueled car chasing, airplane dropping, offroad trucking, hypercar speedin', sexy bitch fightin', suplex driving, monster wrench dueling, and predator seeking action into a single film. Not possible, no how. Before I get all amped again (too late) lets take a step back for a moment to where this all began; The Fast and the Furious. The year was 2001, I was 16, and my only car at the time was powered by a 6 cell battery. I didn't know what a Supra was, an RX-7, a '70s Charger, boobs, et cetera, et cetera. But I liked cars. I loved cars. I lived to take things apart; a clock, my RC car, my bike, whatever. The Fast and The Furious came out and I've had an erection ever since. True Story. 2 Fast 2 Furious introduced Tyrese and Luda, but the movie steered a little closer to the failings of the 2000s body kits obsessed and the brand was thought to be no more.

Some guy named Justin Lin convinced the powers at be to let him run with the Fast and Furious name, albeit with a completely new cast, story, direction, car style, and even different country. It was magical. Turns out real cars with real race car drivers was a great idea, and the budding drifting scene got a good injection as well. I've probably seen Tokyo Drift more times than any other movie in the franchise. I saw it in theaters a couple times, was my first blu ray, and continues to be a staple in my collection. Love it . LOVE IT. The story is pretty loose, the acting is so-so at times, but the cars are sweet and the driving and action shots are amazing. Fast and Furious (number 4) came out when I was in Abu Dhabi, so I saw that in the theater 3 times, then came Fast Five with the introduction of Dwayne Johnson, and then everyone thought it couldn't get any crazier-over-the-top-ridiculous-car stunts with Fast 6. They were wrong. Dead wrong. Enter Furious 7. If you haven't already scene the trailer (and even if you have) then watch it above. To put it lightly, cars flying out of a plane is not the most ridiculous stunt they did. And those cars aren't CGI either; they really did drop cars out of a plane, and they really did put trophy truck off road suspension on a Dodge Charger.

One of the funnest things about these movies is not that the stunts are grounded in reality, its that they aren't and yet they still are able to do so much in camera. The movie takes place in America, Europe, Asia, fucking everywhere. There's old cars, new cars, trucks, hot rods, imports, and euro luxury. I don't follow movies much before they come out, and I was glad to be surprised when I saw Tony Jaa on the mountain heist scene. Tony fucking Jaa!!! This guy is a muay thai master (thai kick boxing) and they put him to good use in the film. (Kinda reminds me of when Jet Li was the silent martial arts killer in Lethal Weapon 4, and I'll be watching the Ong Bak trilogy now to get me some more Tony Jaa. I own them all so why not?). Furious 7 also introduces Jason Statham as a mother fucking badass (easy to do) and Kurt Russell as a slick talking, laid back, black ops director; Mr Nobody. Jason's character is the older, badder brother of the very difficult to kill villain of Fast 6 and he is hellbent on bringing down the crew that almost iced his brother.

The good ol' British government had apparently given him all the skills he needs to bring down nations in a very covert and bloody way, and when they fail to retire him he becomes a ghost. Ghost resurfaces, steals some info, Mr Nobody hires a crew to do a job so that they have a chance to get ahead of said ghost, another mercenary crew and a tantalizing hacker get caught in the crossfire, bullets fly, punches are thrown, explosions ensue; as ridiculous as this movie gets you won't be able to exactly guess how they get from A to B. And you won't care; seeing how many cars, bullets, and punches are used from A to B is where its at anyhow. This movie is fucking awesome. I'm once again sweating just thinking about it; thinking about how tight I was holding my knees rocking back and forth in my seat like a crazy man yelling at the screen only to be drowned out by the aforementioned explosions.

This movie ain't Shakespeare, its not a Cohen brothers film, and it's not trying to be either one. They set out on a mission to be the most over the top franchise of car action flicks, and there's no one even close. 7/7 Fox Tails for Furious 7 (obvi) for their balls to the wall car stunts, super sweet chase scenes, fight scenes that make you check your own ribs, and because cars and Fast and Furious. 

I take this moment now for Paul Walker, who I've heard was as nice a guy on screen as he was off. He made this franchise what it is, and they made a very heartfelt and classy ending that made a grown bearded man like myself almost get wet behind the eyes. So raise your glass for Paul Walker, go rev your 1.8L non-VTEC engine, and go break into this beautiful Spring by checking out Furious 7. You won't be disappointed.

That's Not Enough Pizza

So I watch movies every now and again, that's no secret. In my single, loner (ie alone), living in the middle of nowhere days I was able to put down a movie every night during the week, and sometimes a few more during the weekend. Even before my poor ass was able to get internet, and therefore Netflix, I was able to get my fix for free from the local library (still do too, libraries are awesome!). So yeah, I've watched a few movies in my day; some good, some bad, some funny, some sad. Now that I enjoy an existence with live people to talk to and a reasonable bed time I'm limited to usually one movie a week, or maybe 2 if its the right weekend. I'm basically starving! Don't get me wrong, having a social life and a smoking hot honey make it almost bearable (ha!), but the love for cinema has not faded. I'm even reading a book by an actor right now for christ sakes. (And its awesome! Ron Perlman's book; I'm almost done so you'll get a review soon). Any who, my youngest sister shares this love for the theater (real theater too, she's quite the thespian and singer) and we will sometimes have conversations that are seemingly only quotes from movies and/or sprinkled with some key show lines. It is quite literally like those xfinity commercials where it just sounds like garbled words stringed together, only interrupted by my boisterous laugh or her hyena whistling cackle (we've been told we have notable and infectious laughs #truth). These conversations are sometimes via text as well; it gets a little out of control. So even though I watch a few less movies than before, apparently I still watch more than the average social being (I'm still dubious). My sister texted me the other day that she was confused about something in Inside Man. Its a thriller crime drama with a twisty plot, but it doesn't leave many loose ends so my sister's statement had me first scoffing, and then intrigued. I know shes seen it before, probably many times like I have (you don't watch movies more than once? How do you live? Do you only ever have steak once and then move on? Whatev, you're lost). I was ready to defend Inside Man, possibly even have to reiterate a certain scene line by line and cut by cut. Then I got her follow up text and I basically died.

Shittay. Shittay indeed. At least I know my sister has her priorities straight. Whenever there's a murder mystery, crime drama, hostage situation, or comedy of error whodunit, the real question is 'Is there enough pizza?'. Really, is there any other question? Is there?
Last weekend the question was 'how high?' as my buddy's son Jack was putting his new dual stomp rocket launcher to good use.

I was told the rocket colors need to match the launch pad. Jack knows best.

Not ever high enough is the answer from child and adult alike.

Then the question was 'what does one drink while playing HeroQuest?'.

Chaos Warriors ready for battle

Just a few guys reliving 1985

Code Red and Monster were two easy answers, but who knew a great Manhattan also made the list? Me, that's who. Cuz I'm a goddamn gamer, AND I like to party.
The question for you is 'what's goin on with the Vehicross?'.

Ready for some nip/tuck

Questions, questions, questions. Meaning of life? Did Padme die of a broken heart? Is a tomato a fruit or a vegetable? Does anyone care as long as its made into pizza sauce? Is there enough pizza? Is there?! Well that one I can answer: Of course not. There's never enough pizza. When there's more than you can eat, then you eat some more. If there's still more then it becomes leftover pizza, which is second ONLY to original pizza. Is there ever enough pizza? No. No there's not. Now go get yourself some pizza; I have a feeling Luce or Lake Harriet will be hearing from me shortly. Take 'er easy.

No thanks Turkish, I'm sweet enough

First of all, people are fucking dangerous. Some things like guns, vehicles, and words have the potential to be dangerous, but its the ones who wield them that have the true power. Reminds me of that scene in Don't Be a Menace to South Central while Drinking your Juice in the Hood when Ashtray is talking to this little kid.
Ashtray: Having a gun doesn't give you any power. You wanna know where the real power is?

Kid: In the bullets!

He tells him his mind is real power, but whatever. I'm talking about people being dangerous with their cars; something we deal with every time we merge onto the highway, turn into a grocery store parking lot, or decide to walk across an intersection. You know these people; you see them every day. The person who tries to split 2 cars on the highway, no turn signal, then decides to get back into their original lane. 'Holy shit!' you say as you tense up ready to swerve and hit the brakes as you can see the collision about to unfold in front of your eyes. It doesn't, hopefully, and you think 'How many times can this person cheat death?'. That is until you see the missing body panel on the late model Taurus they're driving. Or the wrong color hood. The evidence is in plain site that this person wants to commit vehicular manslaughter, crunch your baby, create a road block,or at the very least disrupt your day. Get your shit together people. But this isn't a rant blog. No need to hear what grinds my gears each week. This blog is light; its about fun.

So, back to what brings me joy. Back to what brings me pleasure. Back to the sweets.

The Bombay Sweets . 

These guys rocked the house at the Turf Club last night as the opening gig. I hadn't been to the Turf Club in awhile, and it recently had a makeover so I was pretty excited to make it out that night. The Sweets have had a reserved place in my heart ever since I saw them once upon a time at the Amsterdam. I had just driven up from Iowa late on a Friday night and my brother was doing a simple show there that I was able to stop by for. I think the Bombay Sweets were after him, don't really remember, but it was love at first listen. It was cold, I had just driven for 4 hours, alone, and was about to snuggle up with a hoppy brew. Before I know it, magic was in the air; this old style guitar twanging with a nice strong beat on the tom toms reminding me of a Tarantino opening. It immediately caught my attention and I snuck in a little closer. It was so cool and fresh to hear an old school type beat with this slightly strained voice floating above it; just two guys, a guitar, and this funky stand up drum set with bedazzled glitter all over it (apparently called a cocktail drum set). They were awesome. I picked up their self titled album, listened to it non-stop on the drive home a few days later, and then threw it on my ipod shortly after. The music is suited for all occasions and times; chilling in the living room, rocking it on a run, short drive to the market or long drive back to loved ones. It was a taste I couldn't get anywhere else, and I looked forward to the next show that never came. Until last night. They had played other shows here and there, but not for awhile and not that I was able to get to. My lady saw the show posted somewhere and asked me if I wanted to go; I ordered 2 tickets right then and placed it on our google calendar. No one changes the google calendar. No one.

 Nate and Jeff may not have known it, but it was our reunion night (creepy); and I was STOKED. The Turf Club looked great, a good crowd was already shuffling in, Jeff's beard was amazing, and the amps were warmed up. The music is loud (we're only 20' away) but not overpowering. Its so smooth you just drink it in (along with your $5 Furious). This is what happiness feels like; my pretty lady at my side, a good brew on the other, and the sweet nostalgic rockin' of an old friend bringing you all in just a little closer. Tap your feet and bob your head; the music is infectious and can't help but put a smile on your face. Unlike many lost loves that don't seem to create the same spark they once did, the Bombay Sweets only strengthened it. And like that juicy burger, that cool brew, and that last embrace, the Bombay Sweets never last long enough. Thank you Jeff and Nate, as it was once again great while it lasted. Unfortunately we weren't able to stay for the Pink Mink or Swami John Reis & The Blind Shake; damn Thursdays. But that night has once again ignited my desire to go see more live local music, and hopefully this time it sticks. I should be able to hold onto this high all weekend, and maybe I can find that old Sweets cd and pop it in my '97 Subie (hell yeah I rock a cd player). You all have a great weekend now, and look for the Bombay Sweets on iTunes, Amazon, or whatever digital venue you prefer; they're there, I checked. Take 'er easy.