Balls Cold

Yet another wonderful day in the northern tundra of Minnesota. Weather.com currently has Minneapolis at a -14 and 'feels like' at -27 and bitterly cold. Feels like? As in you can't feel much of anything at these temps. As in it is 'Balls Cold' out. I'm sure I'm not the only one to use this term, and it doesn't really have a definition other than adding the word 'balls' as an adjective. Incorrect grammar it may be, but balls cold nonetheless. As in emperor penguin searching for months for the one awesome pebble and then travel inland for miles to find me a mate only to coo for hours without finding my honey and allow my poor testes to be swallowed inside themselves cold. Run on sentence? Possibly. Cold? Definitely. That's 'Balls Cold'.

1997 Subaru Impreza Outback Sport

And on this note I want to say how my most recent daily driver pick late this fall, a 1997 Subaru Impreza Outback Sport, has been a champ so far this winter season. 15 years and over 200 thousand miles has not stopped this puppy from starting each and every morning without so much as a groan. The all wheel drive is a dream, and he gets much better gas mileage than my awesomely impractical Vehicross. I love my VX, but his engine was made for power, not efficiency, and adding 33" off road tires certainly didn't help. So here's to you Subie; we'll make you a little prettier this spring, but for now you're my people's champion.

Side note: although my two other vehicles are slightly to moderately modified, I promised myself and others that I wouldn't touch the Subaru. Or at least only tasteful and aesthetic mods, so I can't make it louder, lower, etc. We'll see how well that pans out.  

Movie time. My brother, my girlfriend, and I sat down to watch the original Star Wars trilogy these past few days. But first, a short back story. These movies are awesome and I'm sure you can find many a resource on the interweb to back up this claim. My lady fish tells me about this proposal at her office for Star Wars (I'm being brief and vague on purpose because the only importance is that its Star Wars related). This is when I find out she hasn't seen a Star Wars movie. 'The new ones?' I say. 'Don't worry, you're not missing much. But we can watch them later'. Nope, the originals. Mind=Blown. I didn't know there were people that still haven't seen these ground breaking and cinematic masterpieces. I announced my shock and dismay at my office the next day only to find there were others that haven't seen these movies. WHAT?!?!!??! And not that it matters, but all said co-workers are female. Truth be told I'm now sure that there were male co-workers of mine who also have not witnessed the magnificence that is the original Star Wars trilogy, but they knew they would be shunned for admitting so. Especially from the late 30s comic book loving, manga reading, Japanese speaking, fantasy and sci-fi walking encyclopedia, Caucasian (aka Scandinavian white) co-worker of ours (not me). The women have no such objections.

I encourage everyone and anyone to watch the original Star Wars movies. They transcend sex, nationality, sexual orientation, and are just plain great. I would like to note that after the initial battle in the beginning of A New Hope, we are titillated by a conversation between 2 droids for the next 10-15 minutes. And one of the droids only speaks in beeps and squeals. Pure Bliss. The movies have action, cutting edge special effects which can still be admired today, comedy, romance, actual dialogue (harder to come by these days), and they are just plain cool. A New Hope sometimes leaves a little to be desired, but The Empire Strikes Back has it all, and then also the balls to end on a sour note in pretty much every way for the heroes. It's so sad its scrumptious. Rancor monster, Leia in metal bikini (come on), bounty hunter scum, uh! The list goes on. Return of the Jedi has the unwavering emperor that even a nun would hate, the cuddly and selfless Ewoks, massive sets, harrowing battle scenes and light saber fights, bike speeders, oh my! I give the original trilogy 7/7 Fox Tails overall for its great script, spectacular special effects, overall story line, and timelessness.



We watched A New Hope one night, and the next night my lady enjoyed The Empire Strikes Back so much that we went right into Return of the Jedi. I would also like to note that all this enjoyment was free of charge from the use of my local library. Boom. Unfortunately the movies are 'Special Edition' which means that Mr. Lucas added some unnecessary CG footage sprinkled throughout to help spice it up, but don't let that stop you. The true essence is still there.