It’s funny
how some things in the memorable past have taken on a type of lore or tall
tale; the more times you tell someone about it the more wonderful and amazing
it becomes to you whether it truly was that great at the time, or not. I have
many favorite vacations in the recent past; backpacking in Patagonia or driving
wrong-sideways in Ireland easily comes to mind. But the most fun? That would be
a story not yet told. A story that will be told many times for sure, but has
not yet had pen put to paper. Nigh a tweet has been sent, barely a picture been
instagrammed, pinned, or tagged in Facebook. No orator to audience or thespian
to the plebeian crowd. This vacation happened just this past Sping when my lady and I
picked up an RV in northern Iowa and drove it cross-country through IA, NE, CO,
UT, AZ, and CA before dropping it off in its new home in Las Vegas, NV. We knew
there were memories to be made, but we had no idea what was in store.
Apparently some company bought this brand new RV fleet that was built in Forest
City, IA and needed them transported to the west coast for permanent use. Free
rental and gas stipend? Enter young couple with an appetite for new experiences
and little to no responsibilities in the homestead. We packed our bags, made
arrangements for Atticus and Mina (the cats), and had a willing familial
participant drop us off 2 hours south of the cities in the then snowy but not-so-bitter
cold Forest City.
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| Cleaning off the snow from a morning blizzard in MN |
It’s amazing what people will give you for a signature and a
smile; like a 33' foot long gas guzzling monstrosity known simply as a Minnie
Winnie. Don't be fooled; this is no minnie. We named him Stuart and were on our
way. Two time zones crossed, 7 state lines, a mountain range, a canyon, and a
few deserts. Our home was not so much on our back as much under our feet and
surrounding us in comforts our mobile travels had not yet known. Oh yeah, this was
gonna be fun.
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| Stuart |
Have you ever stayed in an RV park, excuse me, resort, before?
Check that box. We made a loose plan to see the arches in Moab, the Grand
Canyon in AZ, and Joshua Tree in CA, but what we found was a whole lot more. We
found the open road. Meeting people in a lowly RV park halfway across Nebraska
only to find that your brand new RV would not fill its water tank for mobile
uses of things like the sink or a flushing toilet. 'Looks like you're gonna
have to hold it as we roll down the road Honey'. Such are the woes of an inexperienced
RV couple, but the fun stop it did not. We cruised on over the Rocky Mountains
around mid-day. Have you ever done it in a car? It's pretty much the same in an
RV. Except someone is constantly whispering into your ear that you're gonna die
because you have no idea how to control such a massive vehicle from the 15
minute overview that was given the other day. Cars blast past you and there's
repeatedly sign after sign that you're not to the bottom yet and to use run off
ramps if necessary. You tell your passenger that everything is fine and that
the RV can handle it, even though you're wondering if the new transmission was
properly broken in as it shifts down and down to try and slow its own
unstoppable force. Have you seen Unstoppable? It's with Denzel Washington about
a train with no brakes. Same thing. Hahahaha. Okay, so Stuart was fine and the
RV worked like a champ through the mountains, albeit a little slow.
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| Mountains ahead! |
Everything
to the West is massive. Massive mountains, vast landscapes, towering rock and sand
formations, canyons that make the word cavernous seem not cavernous enough.
Moab is a mecca for rock climbers and off road machines alike. Arches national
park is named for the natural rock formations that were created since the time
of the terrible lizards. Breathtaking views from atop and afar, and a cozy town
at the base. A few snowbirds had nested at the RV Resort we called home for the
2 nights, but this region was not warm enough for a permanent resting ground.
We decided to take a scenic route south and west on our way to the Grand
Canyon. Up and over a few more mountains and the scenery seems to change
starkly from mile to mile. Snowy mountains in CO, vast golden rock 'fins and
arches' in Moab, then forested mountain sides again and bushes further to the
west before turning into desert and blooming cacti. And then there was the
Grand Canyon. Grand it may be, but grand is not enough. I don't know exactly
what I was expecting, but the thing is massive. It just keeps going.
We took a
day hike down a few thousand feet into the canyon to see what we could see.
Other than the fantastic views we were mostly shocked by all the ill prepared
travelers. This wasn't exactly a stroll down the block; it is a dusty incline
with shallow steps every few feet. Gigantor squirrels which have obviously done
well in their tourist filled habitat, and a balmy 90 degrees; in the shade.
There is only water available at the top and at the bottom of this particular
trail, and they don't recommend traveling to the bottom (4.5 miles) and back up
again in a single day because of the incline. Ignoring all of these warnings
people outfitted in everything from crocs to flip flops take the leap into the
canyon with not so much as a shirt on their back (some guys were even shirtless
in flip flops, you can't make this stuff up) and no water bottle in their sweat
soaked hand, only to find that there's just a bathroom at the 1.5 and 3 miles
stops along the way. This is where they turn around to get back out of the
canyon to find that it takes 2-3 times longer to go uphill than down.
Especially when you're dehydrated. If you lose 10% of your water you lose 50%
of your strength; there's a fun fact for ya. Any who, the park ranger trail
people were plenty busy asking people if they needed assistance and we didn't
see anyone collapse, but you would think they might have had as much fun as us
if they just would've brought some water. Silly. We hiked along the rim as well
and even saw some Elk as we were exiting the park. My lady almost stomped on the
brakes for me so she could take a picture; she kinda has a thing for animals.
Just over halfway through our trip and we were off to Joshua Tree National Park
in California. If you're not familiar with a Joshua tree (I was not) it's a
funky tree that grows in the desert. Pretty much the sustaining plant for years
for the native people and the settlers after, it was used for everything from
material to sustenance.
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| 49 Palms Oasis |
Out first hike was out to 49 Palms Oasis. You literally
are hiking through a desolate desert with very little shade, black lizards
baking on rocks, and then BOOM! Forty foot tall palm trees in the seemingly
middle of nowhere. It is amazing how this stuff is formed. And the plants and
animals around the oasis have their own little eco system. We took the
afternoon off to let it cool, and then headed into the park where we were met
with fields and fields of Joshua trees. It’s basically a funky forest out of a
Dr. Seuss book right here in the Mojave and Colorado Desert. The sun is setting
and we fit in one last hike through Hidden Valley. A valley that was tucked
between some rocks that bandits of days past would hide cattle to re-brand them
and sell them off later. It is filled with vegetation and high rock walls to
keep anyone or anything in. Very cool.
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| Hidden Valley |
We finish up by driving through the
Mojave Preserve and spend our last night in an RV resort on the outskirts of
lovely Las Vegas. Sip a cold beverage by the pool, soak up some rays (without
sunscreen!), and just settle in. Settle in? Too easy. A few of the local color from the resort that had joined us by the pool struck up a conversation, we
shared some cocktails, and then we all went out to dinner with them across the
street. This is the vacation that cannot die, and we were perfectly fine with
that. We partied until they couldn't have anymore! Which was about 9:30pm;
these are RV'rs after all and have had a few more years to nurture their
wisdom. Turned in the RV in the morning and jetted back to the Twin Cities in
under 3 hours. 8 days out, 2 hours and 37 minutes back. Helluva vacation, and
my most favorite yet.
