Jedi Master you are Not

If you didn't know already, trailers have been released for both Star Wars VII and Jurassic World recently. Both reboots in a sense; Jurassic Park originally hit theaters in 1993 and Star Wars: A New Hope hit us way back in golden '77. Both movies were groundbreaking for their time and can arguably both be labeled as classics that are standing the test of time.

Any who, I'm not going into how cool each one looks. Neither one gives up too much info and just basically excites you (exactly what teasers are supposed to do). We now know that Star Wars will have the Millennium Falcon and Jurassic World will have raptors and other dangerous dinosaurs. No surprise on either of those fronts (hopefully). And I'm not going to dissect the trailers either; there's plenty of other bloggers and vloggers out there to see, and truthfully I don't know enough in-depth Jurassic or Star Wars history and lore to thoughtfully produce an end product that the many fans would be satisfied with. I have seen all films many times; yes even Attack of the Clones and Jurassic Park 3. Many times. There's the lead up; now my piece.
What's the deal people? Can't we each talk about why we like each film? Even though the trailers were released at pretty much the same time, Jurassic World comes out almost 6 months before the war of stars. They're not competing, and this ain't politics. Are we not decent enough people that we can say what we're looking forward to in a film and not what we're NOT looking forward to? When did we all become so negative and pessimistic?
I was going through my regular routine this morning; hit snooze a few times, snuggle, itch my balls, wash my hands, put on disheveled clothes, drink a glass of water, wrap up for the weather, and head out to my trusty 1997 Subie. I cycle through 3 different radio stations currently; I just want to listen to music of some kind so I prefer stations with limited talking and/or commercials. This morning I was on The Current, a public radio station with essentially no commercials but they do have somewhat of a morning show. About to switch to Jack FM or Kool 108 and I hear that they're talking about movies. I like movies. So I decided to listen in for a bit as they were chatting about the 2 aforementioned trailers. Being the classics that they are it was no surprise that they were excited about the new Star Wars trailer. Everyone should be; even the shitty Star Wars movies are still fun (even if George Lucas went crazy with the CGI in the last few films (which are chronologically the first 3 films!)). They are excited about the returning cast and wondering what the tid bits of film in the trailer mean and how it will delight and enchant them. Jurassic World, not so much. Don't know if these 2 weren't fans of the franchise to begin with (one of them is a film critic), but needless to say they were not as impressed with the dino trailer. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but when they start going off on how this new film has the exact same premise and story as the first, I got a little miffed. Does the trailer show dinosaurs in a park? Yes. Do people appear to be killed by said dinosaurs? Yes. They have then drawn the conclusion that it is the same story from those few minutes of footage and through some type of osmosis. Like they have some deep connection with the world and possibly the universe; Midi-chlorians perhaps? Sorry, but Jedi Master you are not. In fact the very conclusions they draw about the plot are quite off base; how do I know? Because I am, in fact, a Jedi.

Okay, fine, I'm not. Nor do I have ESPN or other mind powers. It turns the plot has already been revealed on a number of websites quite some time ago; I found it (with much difficulty) on a little known website. Wikipedia. Check it out; turns out they have all kinds of info there. You can view lots of info on Jurassic World for yourself through a portal on the internet by clicking here. Okay, enough with the sarcasm. A regular ol' DJ I can forgive, but a film critic who had planned on talking about these 2 trailers and didn't even bother to gather the most basic of information about the 2 flicks? Perhaps they should rethink their line of work. I truthfully had not thought much about the trailer until I heard these ridiculously off base comments, so for that I thank you. For those that missed the segment this morning, the peoples on the other end of the wire concluded that since the film shows dinosaurs and a park it is therefore the same as the original Jurassic Park which included dinosaurs and a park. It turns out that in Jurassic World the park has been running successfully for quite some time without any mishaps; in the original it hadn't even opened. Strike one. They then make the claim that Chris Pratt is a fun loving non serious actor with the likes of Parks and Rec and Guardians of the Galaxy under his belt (Guardians available on video Dec 9th). True, but are we really pigeon holing a young actor into only comedy roles? Don't get me wrong, I love his character in both roles as Starlord and Andy Dwyer, but are we overseeing his roles in Zero Dark Thirty or Moneyball? Or any future drama roles for that matter? Its not like Jim Carrey or Adam Sandler ever did anything outside of comedy (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Reign Over Me pop to mind). Strike 2. In this instance they don't actually get 3 strikes because they didn't say much else that I listened to. Lets change this sports reference from baseball to softball this one time; ergo you're out. It also makes me wonder that perhaps these blatant connections are on purpose. The general public is generally misinformed, and those that go to action flicks are not always looking for a deeper understanding or a view into the metaphysical. The truth is that other than a park and dinosaurs, there is no connection to the other films. New cast and characters, new company (in the film that is), and a genetically manipulated dinosaur. Apparently regular dinosaurs weren't dangerous and exotic enough. If this is all so easy to see, then what are they actually hiding? We've got some time to find out.
Jurassic World opens June 12, 2015
Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens opens Dec 18th, 2015

Loss

I usually keep this blog pretty light, but I would like to take a slight departure this week to mourn the loss of one of my former neighbors, Professor Gary Balas. I was informed of a memory book being compiled in his honor, so I decided to write in with a short story of my own. I wanted to type a short excerpt of how Gary had offered me an internship and helped me along my way from college to working in the 'real world'. I truthfully did not expect the amount of emotion that came over me and all the other stories and memories that flooded my head as they started to flood my eyes. I made sure no one saw me choke up in my corner , drank some water, and finished my little story up. I have shared the same email below. You will be missed Gary.

Gary and his family moved into my neighborhood when I was young and I grew up knowing that we had a rocket scientist just down the street, which is definitely one of the coolest things that you can tell your friends. It it a fairly tight knit neighborhood, so everybody knew at least a bit about each person. Through my parents (and some very high pitched alcohol powered engine noises) Gary found out that I played with R/C cars in the neighborhood and we would chat every once in awhile about math and engineering and his autonomous vehicle projects at the U; usually it was at the Balas/Steele hosted soup nights. I went on to study engineering in college at ISU and Gary would ask me each summer if I would intern for him and help out with the model planes some of his other students were working with. Although it wasn't really my field he felt that my R/C knowledge would help and that my engineering studies provided a good base. I turned him down year after year to work at a Boy Scout camp instead each summer, but finally in my last year of school I agreed to be a summer intern. I had shifted my focus from M.E. to Industrial Technology, but I still tinkered with my R/C monster trucks regularly. The projects at the U had also shifted and he asked me to start on a new project based on the supercavitation research being done. Needless to say I jumped on board and got a 4 and half foot long gas powered R/C boat to get started. I almost learned more about project management than I did about engineering or supercavitation that summer (almost), and Gary was a great resource as well as a great teacher and mentor through all of my successes and failures in the short 10 week time. It was a phenomenal experience, I learned more than I ever thought I would, got loads of stories to tell at gatherings from casual to formal, and being my last year of college it was a star in my resume that I always looked forward for people to inquire about. I made sure to catch up with Gary for at least a few minutes each year at the annual 4th of July bash. Always genuinely intrigued and ever supportive, Gary was truly one of a kind, and the most down to earth genius anyone would be blessed to know. 

This message turned into something a bit longer than I intended, and now I feel like I have so much more to say. It turns out Gary was not just the local rocket scientist down the street; he was my friend.

Info about his memorial and memory book can be found here, and local paper's obituary here. 

The Golden Mile

Hard at Work

Halloween is almost upon us and prior to that wonderful holiday I've managed to pack a few things in (like carving pumpkins. The BEST). One note worthy of mention is that the Mini is 100% fixed and on the market! And by market I mean the local craigslist. Its free and it works; craigslist that is, the Mini costs lots of green backs. Truthfully it is a good looking car, and I feel like I can fix anything on it now after getting into it (and expanding my random tool collection). Of course I still don't want one, but I am confident that it will bring the right consumer many more years of joy. I managed to pack away a couple 2013 sci-fi movies this past Sunday as well, Elysium and Oblivion, and they each had their charms and faults.

Neill Blomkamp wrote and directed Elysium just as he did District 9. I won't go on about how much I love that movie, but Neill teaming up with Matt Damon had its own successes as well. The special effects and futuristic weaponry are still awesome, exo-suits are practically always a win in my book, and the cold bitch of an antagonist played by Jodie Foster and her psycho ex-military henchman are a sweet combo. This movie still has a type of human condition theme and sheds light on topics of immigration, equality, etc a la District 9, but it is much more about the action and ass kicking this time around which results in a solid 5/7 Fox Tails. Oblivion was pretty cool in its own right, but relied on its action and special effects to support a story that could have been wrapped up in 40 minutes. I don't ever like to give away spoilers, but I feel Oblivion took an idea from this movie (click at your own discretion; PS its awesome) and ran with it as if they made it up. 
I know movies will have similarities, but this one kinda stood out. Still cool with sweet special effects, a few nice twists in the story, and an always spectacular Morgan Freeman, but not as original as its made out to be; I give 4/7 Fox Tails. 


Now I feel like I'm writing a mile just to reach the reason I was compelled to start this post; The World's End. I'm a Simon Pegg and Nick Frost fan to begin with; seriously, who didn't like Shaun of the Dead? Paul? Hot Fuzz? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, this is about the Golden Mile. 12 pubs in 1 mile which leads to and therefore ends at The World's End pub. Glorious.

Truthfully the build up takes some time in this movie (as did my intro apparently, ha!); not only do they recollect the entire original failed attempt at the Golden Mile from 20 years prior, but then visit each of the 'five musketeers' in present day as well (who apparently have not so fond memories of Pegg's character, King, or of the Golden Mile attempt). But it is not all for naught as this is a seriously well thought out story. First, there are no blaring loose ends, which is crazy considering the ridiculous twists in the story line. The script reminded me of a Coen brothers film at parts, except the banter is generally faster paced and riddled with British slang and a topping of good ol' profanity. Even funnier is that the conversations build on each other as we progress through the film just as the main characters progress in their drunkenness. The chemistry between these guys is awesome to watch as everyone has moved on with their life into adulthood while King (remember Pegg) is grasping to his adolescence and apparently his last great memory of a journey unfulfilled; The Golden Mile.

 A few twists, a little insanity, blue blood (its more like ink), Pierce Brosnan, a chick with legs for arms, decapitations, marmalade sandwich, and of course lots of drinking. Once it got rolling, I could not stop laughing; it made me want to do a pub crawl myself! With the action mixed in to the fantastic script and the actors chemistry, this movie is an easy 6/7 Fox Tails. I want to give it 7, but I just can't this time. I definitely need to watch it again just so I can hear these guys spout on (preferably with a fresh pint in my hand this time) and work my abs from all the new laughs I'm sure to find on top of the originals. Experience says that these guys make movies with many layers so you can easily watch them multiple times and enjoy it again and again. I'm already looking forward to screenings 2 and 3. What are you looking forward to? Happy Halloween. Take 'er easy. 

Dino-Mite!

What do you get for the man that has everything? The man that is really a 9 year old stuck in a 60 year old's body? A goddamn dinosaur, that's what. But where to get said dinosaur. It has to be cool, and everybody knows that for something to be cool it has to be big. Bigger and badder than the other guys. Now I had toyed with an idea for some time now, and so when my brother suggested that we give my father a 3D dinosaur puzzle for his 60th birthday I was all in. "But we need to enlarge it and cut it out of plywood" he said. Well, obviously. In regular Fox fashion this idea was hatched a mere week before said birthday. No biggie; how hard could it be? Purchase regular, aka miniature, dino puzzle from amazon.

Check. 'Do you have a jigsaw?'. Uh, yeah. I am a man, geesh. Sidenote: I am not very good with a jigsaw. After telling my buddy his response was 'After this, you will be'.

Get Plywood from local lumber yard. Check. Obtain old school projector like from Ms. Miller's 3rd grade classroom. Check. (yeah, my lady has one for her art projects; locking her in gets better daily). Now work.

Trace the shit

Cut the shit!

Measure twice

PUT

IT

TOGETHER

It took awhile to cut everything out and then sand it just enough so that no splinters ensued. Didn't quite get to the weather-proofing with the polyurethane that we got, but he seemed to like it just the same.

PS we ended up cutting the entire thing out of 3/4" plywood so it would be strong enough (some instructions said they used 1/2" and it was flimsy) but the extra weight of the 3/4" put quite a bit of strain on the toes of the feet. They are essentially balancing the beast and one of the toes snapped the day prior to the reveal. When we take it apart to poly it I will have to cut new feet out of some solid wood for strength; then it'll be ready for the garden :)

What did you complete last week? Take 'er easy.

A ride, a slave, a film feature

Steel Toe

It was a lovely Saturday. A lovely Saturday indeed. I woke up, the sun was shining (not too warm) and the clouds were parted. The ride started with one; just one. Tires inflated, helmet on, map checked, phone, wallet, jacket. Roll out. I met up with the crew at Steel Toe Brewery in St Louis Park just past noon. Then there were 4. Obviously this was the place to start a biking brewery tour, and biking is possibly one of the best ways to make your way from brewery to brewery. No; it is the best way. The bikers started to swarm into this little heaven of a place, and the food guy was warming up his product to get started. Not that beer is ever bad, but this brew is pretty tasty. I've most of their beers before and I started the day with their Rainmaker, a double red ale. A bit harsh to start the day, but I felt like I needed a kick so down it went. And a water (that ain't a glass a vodka above). Waiting for the other half of the caravan, so a Size 7 IPA was ordered up for number 2. IPAs are my general go to, and Size 7 is pretty solid. Very bitter and dry, good hops, and a great color to sit back and enjoy on a warmish cool day. First 1, then 4, minus 1, then 4 more (maybe 5). Sisyphus Brewing was next on the trek and our caravan was on the move down the trail. No, not syphilis; Sisyphus. The guy who was punished to roll the stone up the hill over and over. No? Lets move on. Their beers are simply listed as the type they are, and the bar keep recommended a 10oz pour of their double IPA. No argument here. No patio unfortunately, but a simple indoor place (plus watch dog) with a pair of shuffle board tables. Let the games begin!

 I dusted off the cobwebs and became reacquainted with the rules only to find out that my opponent had quite the handle on the game. A loss was handed to the bearded greats. I teamed up with my broflofski for round 2 and we edged them out. Double IPA down, 2 games under the belt, and a swig of good ol' H2O. Lets roll again. Fulton (aka board room F) here we come. Fulton is a staple of the Minneapolis craft beer scene, and for good reason; great placement near Target field, good beer, and always a food truck on hand. I saddled up outside on the patio with a fresh American Pale Ale (The Ringer) and a pulled pork sandwich.










The sandwich was nice and spicy (with lots of green sauce) so the ringer went down almost too fast. Had I known I was gonna spice it up so much I may have gotten a hoppier beer, but alas I wanted something a little lighter than the last few places, and I was too hungry to have planned my beer AND food selection appropriately. My bad; I'll have to give the ringer another go sometime soon when my throat is not delightfully on fire. And delighted I was; the sandwich was from Get Sauced, and it was nothing short of amazing (and massive).
My belly now loaded up for another ride, yet I was not aware of what was to befall me. If I but had my magic 8 ball with me it may have recommended I down another beer, or at the very least hang back in the caravan as we weaved over to Boom Island. Alas it was not to be. This unfortunately is the sour part of this lovely story. Like many of you, I am a slave to technology. I put myself in that position, and I do not blame it, but I am slowly becoming less and less reliant on my own thought or skills. I recently picked up a new phone, and like a silly bastard I assumed everything would work just fine out of the box. Fail. I was in front heading to the next brewery with my GPS locked in on my phone and it spewing out turn by turn directions. I looked behind me to see that the group did not follow. Perhaps they know a different route? Oh well; I've gone this far so no reason to turn back. I have GPS so I'll get there just fine. Then things got a little weird. I know that we were only supposed to be going a mile (1.4 about) and yet I had been pedaling for awhile. I check my phone, and it says to keep going. I go a little further and I notice that the phone is not updating. I stop at a place, typed it in, and the GPS says I'm no where near it even though I'm staring right at it. Sonuvabitch. This is where you find out that I do not know my way around Minneapolis in general, and definitely not wherever the fuck I was right then. I turn off the GPS and just look at a digital map to try and get my bearing. Needless to say I had not been going the correct direction, and not only that but the other brewery (because I had now been gone too long and they moved on) was the even further the opposite direction. Fuck that. I'm tired and I need a beer. I head to Dangerous Man (the next next one on the list). Engh (buzzer sound). Way too packed for my frustrated self. I needed to chillax and gather myself. Strangely enough I recognize the area and figured 612 brewing was just down the street and they have a massive outdoor area. I coast in to rest my weary bones, hit the head, grab my go to (a Rated R), and grab a seat on the patio. I take a sip; its gonna be okay.

Resting w/Rated R

  

My lady came out to comfort me as the sun was heading further west across the world (it was going down) and I ordered up another brew. We eventually met up with what was left of the crew at Dangerous Man (kinda a disappointment actually) and then headed to Bauhaus for a night cap and some bags.

 It was still a pretty awesome ride (even with my personal detour) and I went home to decompress with some television. I decided to sleep in instead of heading out racing the next morning, and got ready for the return of Sunday Movie Night. I'm running low on time and drive so I'll keep this short. We watched Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and it was great. As soon as my father's banter started to be drowned out by my powered bass I was able to settle into the non stop adrenaline packed roller coaster ride that is the Marvel masterpiece known as The Winter Soldier. I'm gonna buy this movie and watch it again, so perhaps I'll fill out a more detailed review. But for now, I give you 6/7 Fox Tails for a fun story, unique twist, aWesome special effects, and the 'what next?!' factor that this movie carries. I just got excited again with only writing that one sentence. Shivers. Half chub. Its the weekend. Take 'er easy.

F#@*ing Great

I like Wes Anderson well enough, but I wouldn't say I seek him out. He has a cult like following for his movies, and although always interesting they don't keep me yearning for the next film. For my regular readers you will notice that this blog is already different; its Thursday. Although Fridays are much lighter, allowing me to apply a generally larger amount of time to this blog, I just had to get this one out. I watched The Grand Budapest Hotel last night with my lady (a huge Wes fan) and I was mesmerized; this film is fucking great. It has many of the regular actors he uses, as well as the standard storybook style almost low budget look special effects and cut scenes. The characters are always very strong and diverse (one reason I enjoy many of his films), but this one really floored me. This movie is a story book come to life. Its more than that though; its a story of action, deceit, love, trickery, life, loss; it has it all. The big sets and vibrant colors are like they're plucked right out of children's book. Not just a children's book, but a book written by a child. A child with a sick,dark sense of humor and strong language. The script is absolutely hilarious, the characters are much too over the top, and the story jumps from mystery to action to romance; and its perfect. It works. The movie is fast paced, but the characters are well fleshed out. The movie is itself a story telling which pieces it together flawlessly. It allows them to jump around at times, but also granting the characters to go into a story and then to literally say 'Fuck it' and just move on. Brilliant. It really does keep you glued to your seat until the end. And then you still don't want to get up; you're just smiling the whole way round your head cuz you can't believe you just had such a great time. I strongly recommend this film to anyone looking for a good, smart, intriguing time. I give this film 7/7 Fox Tails for its fun story, great scenes, excellent acting ( Ralph Fiennes and Tony Revolori nail it), and amazing characters.
Hopefully I'll have some time tomorrow to write up my review of Captain America 2, as well as some mentions of the amazing biking brewery tour last Saturday, and the recent tasting I had at Chow Girls (spoiler alert: super delicious). Almost Friday!

Just Chillin

So whatsup? It's late on a Friday afternoon, but I wanted to get something out for the weekend. Naturally I asked my lady what I should write about; she has the answers to everything and I haven't felt inspired lately since cars are breaking down all around me. Kind of a bummer. Sidenote: the Mini's water pump and thermostat have been successfully installed, so just the measly brakes and turbo oil feed line are up. Anywho, so my lady responded, 'You could write about our pizza making endeavors, moped riding, wedding planning'. The funny thing is that that was all this past weekend. It seems so long ago. If anyone were to ask me, I would have shrugged my shoulders and said, 'I don't know, just chillin'. But now reflecting back, it was a pretty stellar weekend. We started Saturday off by moped'ing around the Minneapolis lakes and accidentally venturing out to Crystal; no worries though, everything is an adventure and exponentially more pleasing when scooting around on an under-powered pocket rocket. PS it was gorgeous out. Seriously though, have you been on a moped? Do you own a moped? Can I have your moped? It is delightfully joyful. Worries don't just melt away, they cease to exist. Its hard to think much at all because you can't stop smiling, laughing, and thinking happy thoughts in general. Pixie dust not necessary; I was flyin'!

The 2 hours was once again not enough, but we had shit to do. And by shit to do, I mean places to go and drink beer. Delicious, delicious beer. It was Lift Bridge Brewery's annual anniversary party, which they call Pickin' and Grinnin'. They allow you to pick fresh hops off the vines in the afternoon which then get used for their fall Harvestor Ale. A fresh hopped IPA? Yes, thank you. They had fresh food, fresh beer, local hops, clean porta johns, and beer. Did I mention beer? Their Hop Dish IPA is one of the best in the business. This weekend (and Saturday) was turning out pretty fine indeed.
We headed back toward Minneapolis in search of more food, and then decided to continue on with my brother to a Moon Festival party being hosted by one of his pals/co-workers. The co-worker's lady friend in fact, as she was of Chinese descent. More food, a few more cocktails, new people, the stars, a great patio. Life is rough, ain't it? The party moved to the Lyn Lake area late into the night on the quest to find karaoke at the local VFW. The VFW was found, but alas the karaoke was already overrun. So we settled for PBR and rail whiskey. (insert grimacing face here). The night (more like morning) ended with a poorly played game of bags at the bar across from the VF dub, and a safe drive back with Uber. 
Now it was time to relax. I mean, its Sunday; that's what you do. What? What's that you say? There's american football on today? Decision made. So we invite a few peeps over (translated: my 18 thousand siblings. You couldn't have just stopped, could you? You had to have seven!? Whatev; we're adults and they're cool now).

    First game at noon, home made cheesy garlic bread (add black olives for the second one) shortly after. Cracked a PBR, and then made what turned out to be delicious jalapeno macaroni n cheese pastry bites. Yup, those are making the cut for next game. Alas the weekend was coming to an end, just as it is about to start once again. A weekly rebirth. On tap THIS weekend: a biking brewery tour around Minneapolis, autocrossing at DCTC, and the return of Sunday Movie Night showing the fresh to DVD (or in my case Bluray) Captain America: Winter Soldier. And yes, there will be pizza. What will your weekend hold? Take 'er easy.